Raymond Benson - 2012 - Hitman: Damnation by Raymond Benson

Author:Raymond Benson [Benson, Raymond]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

“If I can do it, I know you can do it. I’m not a very strong person, Stan. I’m pretty weak. I guess that’s something you should understand about me if we’re going to continue to be … friends.” Then she looked at him. “Or more.” She leaned in close, looking into his eyes, her mouth parted.

She wanted Stan Johnson to kiss her.

“Helen, I …”

She reached up and placed a hand on his cheek.

But Agent 47 couldn’t do that.

“Helen, I’m … I’m just not wired for that kind of relationship.”

She blinked but didn’t remove her hand. “Are you …?”

“No, I’m not gay. But I’ve never had a relationship that worked the way it’s supposed to. I guess you can say I’m jaded. It’s difficult for me to trust anyone.”

“You can trust me, Stan.”

“I’m sure I can. I think the world of you. I believe we can be very close, but I was hoping we could just be … friends.”

He saw the disappointment in her eyes. She removed her hand and then took a big sip of champagne. “Sure. We can do that.”

“Helen. You really don’t know me—”

She held up a hand. “Stop. It’s all right. I know you’ve got your own set of secrets. Perhaps you’ll tell me about them someday. And, about us, I’m not pressuring you, Stan. I like you. I like you more than anyone I’ve known here at Greenhill. So if you want to be friends, then I can accept that. I’m a damaged person too. Yes, I can see that you’re damaged. Your wounds are deep and permanent. I know.”

He took one of her hands and gently slid her sleeve up, revealing the red welts.

“Just like mine,” she added.

“What happened?” he asked gently.

“I thought I was at the bottom. The lowest of the low. I was selling my body for drugs. I was stealing. I was even homeless for a time. So I tried to end it.” She snorted. “It didn’t work, obviously.”

He lightly ran his fingers over the disfigured flesh.

“After that, I resolved to change my life. It was a wake-up call. I turned to the Church of Will and things started getting better. I had something to believe in. I gained a purpose beyond sticking a needle in my vein or popping a pill. Stan, you can do that too. I’ll help you, if you let me.”

A long silence passed, after which 47 replied, “I’ll consider it.”

An hour later, she was asleep on the couch. They had continued to talk, but she drank nearly all the champagne and wine by herself. She cuddled next to him, put her head on his shoulder, and drifted off.

47, however, was wide awake. The pills had kicked in, and his thoughts were clear and focused. He couldn’t think of a moment in his life in which a woman had fallen asleep next to him in this fashion. It was indeed a totally new and somewhat uncomfortable experience for him. Or maybe it was the other way around.

Could

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